Ask the cutie before you touch the booty.
When asked “Who wears short shorts?” proudly rip away your slacks to reveal hot pants, proudly proclaiming, “I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!!” Works every time.
When in doubt, punch whatever is making you doubt yourself in the snout to assert dominance.
If you love someone let them go, but remind them, that you totally rock so they should probably come back. If that doesn’t work, sob into your bag of cheetos, you lonely fuck.
After whipping it out state, “I am heavy weapons guy, and this is my weapon!”
Starting tomorrow we will be having our Sex Tip week, where we share all sorts of tips on how to better the pleasure! If you do not want to see these posts please savior “#cosbro sex week” and have a vanilla ice cream on me.
If you see an evil witch, puncha her buns. Or you know, drop a house on her, that tends to work too.