Shine bright like a diamond.
If you can impersonate famous people, use your skills wisely, and make them say things like, “Titty Sprinkles.”
When someone tells you, “I love you,” respond with anything but, “G’day.” That’s just a dick move.
If you just got put in the friendzone, take a step back and realize you just used the fucking term “friendzone,” and probably have a lot more problems than you think.
Finally made that magazine cover, used some lame ass website that wouldn’t give me the full thing but eh, oh well.
When you can’t sleep at night, stay away from the electronics, they will stimulate you in a way that keeps you awake, instead of tires you out. Instead try reading Cosbro Magazine, you know, the paper kind that we don’t actually put out.
When your little brother makes a new blog use your own blog to promote, like so: This is my little bro’s blog, please follow it so he doesn’t cry like a whiny baby all night.
When looking at presents for your sweetheart look into getting that bitch a smuppet, bitches love smuppets.
Ask the cutie before you touch the booty.
Anonymous asked: TRICK OR TREAT MY BITCH
Here’s a treat.
Some slippers just for you.